You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize