I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize