Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize