That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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