Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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