I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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