My hand turned me down
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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