im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
