Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize