he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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