Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize