He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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