She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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