Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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