Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize