I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize