She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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