my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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