U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
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I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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