Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Fuck appropriateness.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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