gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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