maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
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Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
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We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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