is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
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kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
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You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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