Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
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Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
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If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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