He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
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don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
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Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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