I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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