remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
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The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
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there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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