I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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