if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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