omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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