if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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