Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
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I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
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Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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