Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize