So drunk, too bad you don't want this
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
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Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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