Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
We named our party play list daddy issues
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize