my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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