I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
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