I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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