She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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