Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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