I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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