best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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