you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
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She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
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This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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