It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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