today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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