Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize