It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
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I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
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