so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
PANTIES FOUND
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