Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize