so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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