My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize