Where is the hickey?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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